With more intense focus comes certain skills in systematic thinking. In fact, socially awkward individuals often excel in specialized areas, bringing a unique perspective to their work and lives. Another feature of social awkwardness is how often it is mischaracterized as other personality traits or mental health conditions. Comprehending these differences is key to ensuring individuals get the understanding and support they need to thrive.
While social awkwardness may describe an alternative way of living in the world, social anxiety is a defined medical condition that can cause severe social impairment. According to the Social Anxiety Institute, social anxiety disorder SAD describes an intense, recurrent state of emotional stress in social situations. Individuals with SAD may fear:.
When placed in these situations, those who suffer from SAD may experience physiological symptoms, such as a racing heart, excessive sweating, trembling, difficulty swallowing, or other reactions. While individuals who are socially awkward may or may not address their awkwardness, those with SAD suffer from a disorder that often requires treatment. Social awkwardness may also be confused with the personality trait of introversion. While extroverts look to the outer world, introverts orient themselves inward.
They prefer to know a few people well instead of a wide range of individuals, and they are generally comfortable being alone. Ellen Hendriksen, of Quiet Revolution, says that introversion, like social awkwardness, is a personality trait rather than a disorder. Here are some common thinking patterns that can undermine your confidence and fuel social insecurity:. But the truth is never quite so black-and-white. Most people are caught up in their own lives and concerns. Many other people feel just as awkward and nervous as you do.
Some people are better at hiding it than others, but there are many introverted people out there struggling with the same self-doubts as you are. The next person you speak to is just as likely to be worried about what you think of them! People are much more tolerant than you think. In your mind, the very idea of doing or saying something embarrassing in public is horrifying. Everyone has done it at some point so most will just ignore it and move on. But that still leaves the way you feel about yourself.
In fact, our imperfections and quirks can be endearing. Even our weaknesses can bring us closer to others. They may even like you better for it! So give yourself a break when you mess up. If you find self-compassion difficult, try to look at your own mistakes as you would those of a friend. What would you tell your friend? Now follow your own advice.
Improving social skills requires practice. That said, you can start small. Take baby steps towards being more confident and social, then build on those successes. When it comes to the things that really scare us, you want to face your fears in a gradual way, starting with situations that are slightly stressful and building up to more anxiety-provoking scenarios.
Think of it as a stepladder, with each rung a little more stressful than the last. If talking to new people at parties makes you extremely anxious, for example, here is a stepladder you could use:.
Having open, relaxed body language makes everyone feel more comfortable. When it comes to overcoming your social awkwardness, practice makes perfect. If you want to flex your banter muscles a little before your next hang out, why not try logging on to a forum or chatting online while gaming? What to do if you're really struggling Putting these tips into action takes practice, and it might take some time to feel comfortable in social situations.
They can help you figure out what the issue is and work with you to figure out a plan of action. You can get more info about how getting professional help works here. It's not always easy to find the right place to start. Spending a little time learning more about social awkwardness might help you feel more accepting of this part of yourself.
Not sure where to start? Try visiting your library or bookstore. Social awkwardness happens, probably more than you realize. Say you drop all the groceries you were carrying in the middle of the supermarket. A jar of pasta sauce breaks, eggs smash, and cherry tomatoes roll out their carton and across the aisle. Every fiber of your being is internally screaming and telling you to abandon your groceries and run out the door. Nor are you the last. And everyone who turned to look?
Instead, this tends to just prolong the awkwardness and make future interactions even more uncomfortable. This is a tip you can pay forward, too, if you want to help someone else feel better about an awkward moment. It happens to everyone. If you struggle in social settings, you might find it helpful to practice conversation and communication skills with someone you know and trust. This can help you recognize cues like discomfort, boredom, interest, and so on.
Being more mindful as you go about your day can help you stay focused on your present surroundings. If you feel unhappy, distressed, or lonely in your daily life, you might want to consider talking to a therapist who can help you explore the reasons for these feelings.
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