In our first year we were not only profitable, we made over a million dollars, and we did it with effectively two full time employees me and my assistant. I think the key thing that I finally started to understand was not just business, but how the world actually worked, and I started to get a grip on myself.
I stopped getting pissed and railing at people or systems that I thought were unfair, and instead focused on doing the job at hand. So my options were to either get in the ring and do something about it, or stand on the sidelines and whine like a bitch. This is abstract, but you can read about precisely what Tropaion did in this piece. It was pretty genius, and the only way I could have pulled this off would be if I stopped trying to fight an unfair system, and instead worked to outsmart it.
But I was not totally in the clear with my emotional issues. I just found a way to set them aside, and focus on making an actual business that works. Looking back in retrospect and being totally honest, what I wanted was money and power without work. I found a company who I thought could do that work and wanted to do it: Idea Incubator.
I had fantasies of a big pay day dancing around my head. Here is where my emotional issues came back to bite me again. Part of it was wanting success without work—which got me in the deal—and the other part was looking at things emotionally and not rationally.
This is perfectly fine, but most of the people in that space are shady and scammy; they are the infomercial people of the internet. This the complete opposite of how I like to do business. They just told me what I wanted to hear, and I ignored everything else. When you combine that with the fact that I wanted to make some quick money, I joined forces with two people who see the world totally differently than I did.
That does not work. We decided to part ways in mid As part of the deal, I actually got the Lioncrest Publishing name, and they took most of the assets and re-branded them under a different company. It was very amicable, and there are no hard feelings.
I still like Ryan and Perry as people a lot, but we have diametrically opposite views on business. Perry likes to say that I hate profit. I like to say that they only care about money. Either way, it was a bad idea to work together, and I should have seen that earlier. Also, I was a terror to deal with. My anger problem may have gotten worse then before, I think because deep down I knew I did not like the way they were running the business, but I stayed in it for the exact reason I criticized them: only caring about money.
Why, aside from taking advantage of and verbally abusing them? In short, the witty writer should have quit while he was ahead. There is nothing story-worthy about passing out in a bathtub on your 21st birthday, since many in his audience have surely been there before him. Kate Evans can be reached at [email protected]. Creator Profile: Poet, Katrina Rojas. My search is over. Love, nostalgic but true. What is the author? Cancel reply.
Your email address will not be published. I had an immense amount invested in this movie. Not money—I actually had zero money invested in it. But I had my entire identity and emotional state invested in its creative and commercial outcome.
If it succeeded, then I was a success. It was, at least in my subconscious, nothing less than a referendum on me as a person. Valid or not valid. Good or bad. Worthy or unworthy. Everything about who I was rode on the success of that movie, and every decision I made was deeply and unconsciously impacted by that. It was possibly the hardest night of my entire life. I cried more than I had ever cried in my life. The emotional pain was so intense, so real, it became literal physical pain.
To feel this way? I had not failed at something. I felt like, in a very real emotional sense, that I was a failure as a human being. Boo fucking hoo. But emotions and identity and self-perception are not about objective facts talk to any Trump fan to see proof of that. This is about the emotional reality of my life, and it was this moment—where I felt like my entire personhood was a failure and invalid—that set me on the journey I am on today.
That was my emotional bottom. From that moment, I knew I had to get help. A few months later I moved to Austin and started psychoanalysis. I also started angel investing at the same time. It was a coincidence, but those two things together taught me how to take responsibility for my actions and own my failures.
It might be hard to understand how identity and the unconscious works. One of my favorite blogs on the internet had a great explanation about how this works:.
It has one single goal, protect the ego, protect status quo. Do not change and you will not die. It will allow you to go to college across the country to escape your parents, but turn up the volume of their pre-recorded soundbites when you get there.
In fact, you could say that this insight is the key insight of Buddhism: all the suffering of humanity is caused by the attachment to an identity or a result. How you define and see yourself and the results you strive for creates the suffering you endure. In essence, the less you are attached to things, and the more you just experience them, the better off your life is I also included some basic reading lists for Buddhism at the end as well.
Simple to say, but hard and complicated to apply to your own life. I tried to learn this by just doing psychoanalysis and reading a lot about it. I have a large dent in my checking account and an even larger collection of flagged and annotated books as testaments to that effort.
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